INSIDE AURORA: Multiple Choice Platform

August 22, 2018 · 0 Comments

By Scott Johnston

Each week this paper has been highlighting the different folks vying for a seat on Council this fall.
For those who have yet to be profiled, Inside Aurora is pleased to simplify the process for you. For each statement below, simply choose the response that best describes your thoughts. When strung together, they will provide the basis for both your newspaper article, and your campaign platform.

I would like to be elected this term because I feel the current council is:
(A) completely dysfunctional (choose if not on current council)
(B) doing an amazing job (choose if on current council)

I have wanted to be on Aurora Council ever since:
(A) the day I filed my nomination papers
(B) I found out council members got paid for arguing with each other
(C) I realized there were no real qualifications necessary to be on it

In my spare time I like to:
(A) try to convince local merchants to accept my old “Aurora Dollars”
(B) explain to people that Aurora is a small town, even though its population will shortly be in excess of 75,000
(C) devise ward boundaries that will optimize my future election potential

I think the key feature of the new Library Square should be:
(A) an outdoor escalator to help deal with the hilly terrain
(B) a big plaque recognizing all members of council
(C) a time capsule to be opened if the project’s ever finished

If elected, the key thing I will try to remember when attending Council meetings is to:
(A) represent all of Aurora’s constituents, even the poop-heads who didn’t vote for me
(B) avoid eye contact with Brock
(C) stay awake

What this Town needs is:
(A) a landmark named after Ron Wallace
(B) more weaponized vehicles in the Peace Park
(C) a cloverleaf interchange at Yonge and Wellington

We could encourage people to support the businesses on Yonge Street if:
(A) we stopped promoting so many businesses on Bayview
(B) we stopped encouraging people to take the week-end GO train to the shops, restaurants and entertainment venues in Toronto
(C) all of the Town’s hotels weren’t east of Leslie

I support stable neighbourhoods because:
(A) I live in one
(B) I hear that’s where the votes are
(C) the Town doesn’t have enough stables

I will not rest until:
(A) every available green space and employment land in Town is occupied by soccer pitches and baseball diamonds
(B) John A. Macdonald’s name is spelled correctly on the mural at Yonge and Wellington
(C) I’m elected, then I plan to really take it easy

I think the biggest problem in Aurora is:
(A) parking downtown
(B) parking downtown
(C) parking downtown

A final reason people should vote for me is because:
(A) I’d probably vote for you if you were running
(B) you’re going to complain about whoever makes it in anyway, so why shouldn’t that be me?

Feel free to e-mail Scott at: machellscorners@gmail.com