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INSIDE AURORA: T-shirt Town – Part 2

April 12, 2017   ·   0 Comments

By Scott Johnston

Last year at this time, I posed the question; why we don’t see more Aurora-based captions on T-shirts?
This followed a column on this page by Stephen, in which he described some humorous T-shirt messages that he had seen on a recent trip to Florida.
So, let’s take a second annual (maybe) look at what new T-shirt ideas should be available to Aurorans to help celebrate life in our Town.
There are certainly no end of recent events that merit a mention. For example, thinking of discussions about the number of stories that new buildings should be limited to along Yonge Street, I envision a simple graphic of a multi-story building with the caption: “Aurora – we’re afraid of heights”.
And we can’t have Aurora based T-shirts without a nod to our favourite politicians. With the length of meetings reduced in 2016, a good caption might be: “Aurora Council; new shorter meetings – same number of report back requests to staff.”
But let’s not focus just on this level of government. How about a lone figure with an “Aurora” shirt sitting on a desert island. Underneath would be the wording: “It’s lonely at Regional council”.
With the country’s sesquicentennial fast approaching, there is bound to be a lot of Canada-themed apparel out there. Our contribution could be a picture of a birthday cake with the caption; “Canada’s Birthday Town: 1967-” In smaller print underneath it would read “whenever someone else stops funding it.”
Infrastructure is always a great discussion topic in Town. A picture of our favourite form of traffic calming could be captioned: “It’s always ‘hump day’ in Aurora.”
Or perhaps a look at our most recent infrastructure issue, the GO train underpass, and associated reluctance of our regional transit authority to fund these. I envision a sort of medieval looking setting with a Metrolinx gatekeeper holding up their hand in a “halt” motion in front of a tunnel with the wording: “None shall pass”.
Will we see a new high school in northeast Aurora in the near future? Who knows? But, until then, students living in that area could wear T-shirts reading; “I wore out my Fitbit walking to school this year”.
A popular upcoming annual event will soon be upon us. At it you may spot someone sporting a T-shirt entitled “What I took away from the Aurora Home Show.” Underneath will be a round pie chart with a small wedge labeled as “inspiration”, and the rest representing “new feelings of inferiority about my house”.
For those out there who prefer a more sedentary lifestyle, they could wear a shirt with a drawing of a potato on a couch in front of a TV with the simple wording “Deactivate Aurora”.
It seems that each year, more snow is allowed to accumulate on our roads before it is cleared. A snowy picture of a driver looking at a cartoon car with a dent in it could be captioned; “I wonder if the tax money I saved on reduced snow plowing will cover this?”.
And finally, it would be nice for Aurora’s younger population to show that they are ready to step up and put their stamp on our Town. I can see a youngster wearing a shirt proclaiming “Future 2053 Citizen of the Year”.
Will we see these and other slogans and graphics in Aurora as the weather warms up? I hope so. They certainly would give us all something new to smile about, which we could all use after our recent long winter.

Feel free to e-mail Scott at: machellscorners@gmail.com

         

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