{"id":18711,"date":"2017-10-18T13:23:58","date_gmt":"2017-10-18T17:23:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.newspapers-online.com\/auroran\/?p=18711"},"modified":"2017-10-18T13:23:58","modified_gmt":"2017-10-18T17:23:58","slug":"front-porch-perspective-advice-for-the-groom","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newspapers-online.com\/auroran\/front-porch-perspective-advice-for-the-groom\/","title":{"rendered":"FRONT PORCH PERSPECTIVE: Advice for the Groom"},"content":{"rendered":"

By Stephen Somerville<\/strong><\/p>\n

While in the dressing room for my weekly hockey game, the son of a family friend proudly announced his recent engagement to his fianc\u00e9.
\nWithout any hesitation, the group of 50 and 60 year old men, in unison, said \u201cWhy?\u201d; we then collectively offered \u201cOur condolences\u201d to the guy.
\nLots of laughter ensued.
\nWe then offered our best wishes (sort of!).
\nSitting there looking at this young man reminded me of my own marital situation.
\nI thought about the card my wife gave me on or about our twelfth wedding anniversary, which was seven years ago.
\nThe card Julie gave me was great.
\nThe front of it had a picture of a four-year-old girl clutching her doll and watching her – I guess \u2013 five-year-old boyfriend try and fix his tricycle. He has a host of large tools beside him, all strewn on the floor.
\nThe little girl\u2019s caption reads: \u201cMaybe we should call a professional\u201d
\nThe little boys\u2019caption: \u201cNo way! I got it!\u201d
\nInside the card it says: \u201cSome things never change \u2013 like my love for you!\u201d
\nThe only more appropriate card in my case would be something about not ever asking for directions while out driving!
\nThis upcoming wedding also got me thinking about some funny situations over the years.
\nA while ago a female friend of ours from Aurora was getting married and the company that she bought her wedding dress from had gone under; she was not sure if she could get the dress and while she waited for word, she was searching for alternatives.
\nAnd as I was being my usual helpful self, I kindly suggested that since my wife Julie would not be in need of her wedding dress, why don\u2019t you offer it to your friend, or better yet, sell it to her for a couple of bucks?
\nWith a Donald Trump type like glare, she icily shot back: \u201cHow do you know that I won\u2019t be needing this again?\u201d
\nWell, at least, she didn\u2019t add: \u201cin the very near future!\u201d
\nIn the end, our friend did get the dress from the firm.
\nThat conversation also got me to thinking about a present I purchased for my wife a while back. As stated above, Julie always likes to kid me (I think she is kidding) that Brad Pitt is the real father of her son.
\nSo, when I used to get the occasional phone call to bring milk or diapers home, if I am rather tired or just lazy, I would say, \u201cwhy don\u2019t you get Brad to pick it up for you?\u201d
\nAt the time, I took a photograph of her and my son Ryan and bought a new picture frame to give her as a gift. I inserted a picture of Brad Pitt into the frame where I would otherwise have been occupying.
\nShe loved the frame and found the Brad Pitt photo very amusing.
\nI placed the photo \u2013 along with Brad \u2013 in the living room and it became a conversation piece when people came over.
\nI left the picture of Brad in the photo assuming that Julie would remove it after some appropriate \u2013 but rather short – interlude; it would still be there today if I hadn\u2019t taken it down myself.
\nDo you see a pattern emerging?
\nThese situations reminded about this nine-year-old boy in Colorado, who, as part of an elementary school assignment, observed his classmates social interactions for a week, and then wrote a paper on it.
\nThe paper became so popular that television host Ellen Degeneres called and got him a book deal with HaperCollins in New York.
\nAccording to the Toronto Star article, \u201cAt 46 pages, the book still has seven chapters and its original title (How To Talk to Girls). What\u2019s new is the shiny red hard cover, the $10.99 price and the fact that it\u2019s available in 17 countries.\u201d
\nWith the hints that I have been receiving, I thought to myself, \u201cHey, I had better check his book out, as you just never know, I may be needing his advice as I re-enter the dating scene\u2026\u201d
\nThis boy is mature beyond his years. Here is some of his common sense advice:
\n\u201cGo for a talkative girl if you are shy. Then you only have to say one sentence, and she will do the rest of the talking.\u201d
\nAnd this:
\n\u201cIf you like a girl, comb your hair and don\u2019t wear sweats.\u201d
\nMy personal favourite:
\n\u201cGirls win most of the arguments and have most of the power. If you know that now, things might be easier.\u201d
\nI could have really used this last piece of advice, oh, about thirty years ago.
\nI wish I had some similar insights that I could suggest for my friend\u2019s son.
\nBased on eighteen years of marital bliss and harmony, I do have but one piece of advice:
\nMake sure to purchase a shiny new television remote that is just for your bride-to-be.
\nBatteries are strictly optional.<\/p>\n

Stephen can be contacted at stephengsomerville@yahoo.com<\/p>\n\"Facebook\"<\/a>\"twitter\"<\/a>\"mail\"<\/a>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By Stephen Somerville While in the dressing room for my weekly hockey game, the son of a family friend proudly announced his recent engagement to his fianc\u00e9. Without any hesitation, the group of 50 and 60 year old men, in unison, said \u201cWhy?\u201d; we then collectively offered \u201cOur condolences\u201d to the guy. Lots of laughter […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[29,28],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-18711","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-columns","category-opinion"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3D2k4-4RN","publishpress_future_action":{"enabled":false,"date":"2026-05-20 13:07:17","action":"change-status","newStatus":"draft","terms":[],"taxonomy":"category","extraData":[]},"publishpress_future_workflow_manual_trigger":{"enabledWorkflows":[]},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newspapers-online.com\/auroran\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18711","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newspapers-online.com\/auroran\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newspapers-online.com\/auroran\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newspapers-online.com\/auroran\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newspapers-online.com\/auroran\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=18711"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newspapers-online.com\/auroran\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18711\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newspapers-online.com\/auroran\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=18711"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newspapers-online.com\/auroran\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=18711"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newspapers-online.com\/auroran\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=18711"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}