INSIDE AURORA: The Christmas Mailbag

December 11, 2013 · 0 Comments

By Scott Johnston

‘Twas two weeks till Christmas and each day without fail
All the North Pole’s residents went through that day’s mail
Bags of letters were lugged, in piles they were dropped
It was their busiest time, the ‘asks’ never stopped.
“We’ve a bunch from Aurora”, said elves in the crowd
“Let’s hear them,” Santa nodded, “just read them aloud.
So an elf grabbed one off the top of the pile
Cleared his throat lightly and began with a smile.
“The Leisure Complex users feel they are pressed
They’ve combined all their wishes in one group request.
The time for needed repairs has brought them some doubt
All they want, Santa, this year’s a place to work out.”
The next one he read clearly stood out from the rest
“Please rid me of ash borers, they’re really a pest.”
Santa felt for this writer, but what could he say
Although treeless up north they were eating his sleigh.
“Here’s a related plea from, the south end of town
To replace out on Longthorpe, three trees just cut down.”
Where, with no forests up north, could Santa get trees?
Perhaps the Streetfest seedlings he got from Frank Klees.
For the next Petch House request St. Nick had some fears
“Hasn’t it been re-built yet? It seems it’s been years.”
“Yes, it has been saved from those who abused it
But now it’s done the Town needs someone to use it.”
“For Jubilee Park they ask, will it have slides
Swings, soccer or gardens? They want you to decide.
Here’s one for the Youth Centre, it sounds much the same
They can’t agree on a budget, or even the name.”
“There’s a group out near Bathurst,” the next elf stated
“With a special request that’s cell tower-related,”
With surprise Santa heard what the folks had to say
“Most people ask I bring things, not take them away!”
Said an elf, “This next letter’s a little bit odd
This one wants the Liberal candidacy nod.”
“That’s a request,” Santa said, “that must be denied.
For democracy we’ll let the Party decide.”
“Here’re similar letters, a great big selection
Pleading success in next year’s Fall-time election.
And an odd local request, ‘Santa, if you see fit
Re-merge our Fed’ral riding that has been split’.”
“This penultimate letter for Santa this year
Has a message Aurorans want Council to hear;
‘Please cooperate, budget, and plan at your best
And try suing each other, a little bit less’.”
When the Aurora letters but one had been read
Santa sat back and sighed, and held his forehead
“I remember Aurorans would give me a lift
When they used to ask for more sensible gifts.”
“Now the wish lists from this town each year I am sent
Seem to always contain a political bent.”
The elf said, “perhaps, there’s no need to get stressed
If this last note from Town Hall’s a better request.”
Santa wanted this appeal, the elf would read out
To be more reasonable, but harboured some doubt
When he heard their request he was let down anew
“We need more in Reserve Funds – ten million should do.”